"I Can See Carefree From My Balcony

We all should have seen it coming.

She made more public appearances in Arizona last fall than Governor Jan Brewer.  Her daughter, Bristol, purchased a house in the bedroom community of Maricopa south of the Valley.  And then there was the new lax gun legislation that's the siren's song for every gun nut in North America. 

For the past couple of years Arizona has been home away from home for Sarah Palin.  So it should have come as no surprise when she started house shopping here.  But where would Sarah be most comfortable settling?  Out of all of the places in the state, where would Sarah Palin fit right in?

Of course ... Scottsdale. 
Posh North Scottsdale, to be specific.

Who, after all, wouldn't want to escape the desolate frozen tundra of Alaska for the picturesque Sonoran Desert of Arizona.  Someone would have to be out of their mind not to jump at the chance.  Even a frosted flake like Sarah Palin.

In just the short span of two years, the one-time vice presidential candidate has turned her 15 minutes of fame into a political brand.  Palin has become the Paris Hilton of politics.  She's a celebrity with no measurable talent -- except her ability to exploit right-wing values that whip people who cross-dress in Revolutionary War outfits into a frenzy.  The former governor of Alaska gives new meaning to the word "superficial."

So, obviously, North Scottsdale is the perfect place for Sarah Palin.

Moving Up in the World

Like much of Scottsdale that lies north of the Central Arizona Canal, the Palin Family is "new money."

Sarah is the breadwinner.  A best-selling book, inflated appearance fees and serving as the spokesmodel for the Tea Party Movement has earned her family a nice nest egg.  The Palins can now afford an infinite supply of beef jerky and Red Bull ... and a six-bedroom house that cost nearly $2 million.  Not bad for a family from humble beginnings who planned to live out their lives on a remote part of the planet hunting moose for entertainment and riding snowmobiles for exercise. 

The Palins have won the Political Powerball - and they, like all of those who win the lottery, are adjusting to affluence.  It's like a real life "Beverly Hillbillies."  And what better place for the Palins to test their new-reality than North Scottsdale, an unreal environment in which the rich and want-to-be famous reside.

Sarah isn't just a political vixen.  There's much more to her than designer glasses, thousand-dollar shoes and a trademark hairdo.  Like so many women in North Scottsdale, Palin knows how to handle herself in all sort of social situations.  She also gets waited on hand and foot, and has a knack for surrounding herself with people who shower her with praise and try to sound sincere when they tell her how smart she is. 

But, most importantly, Palin knows how to stand out in a crowd -- whether it's at a charity fundraiser, a youth soccer game or at the shooting range.  Sarah has that certain something.  So she will fit right into the North Scottsdale scene.

Political Botox Treatments

The upper reaches of Scottsdale is ultra-conservative - which will make Sarah Palin and her family feel at home.

That's why Palin picked Scottsdale - the cosmetic surgery capital of Arizona - as the place to rejuvenate her public image, like political botox treatments to remove her wrinkles.  And, as one of the most polarizing people in politics, she has some work to do.

In January, Palin shot her mouth off (excuse the expression) after Gabrielle Giffords was almost assassinated.  Palin believed she had unjustly become the target of a liberal media who accused her of contributing to the environment that pushed Jared Loughner over the edge.  Following a poorly worded statement with anti-Semitic connotations, Palin ran for cover.  Which is where she remained until her recent real estate escapade in North Scottsdale.

Palin is reemerging and will be testing the political waters from Arizona.

A two-hour movie "reintroducing" Palin to the country is scheduled to open next month in Iowa, the site of the first presidential caucus in 2012.  The film, produced by conservative Stephen Bannon, is titled "The Undefeated."  Bannon also brought moviegoers two other documentaries: "In the Face of Evil," starring Ronald Reagan and the Tea Party Movement's "Generation Zero."

Sarah and Todd Palin reportedly gave two thumbs up to Bannon's work, an effort to scrub up her legacy as governor of Alaska, last week at an undisclosed location in Scottsdale. 

So begins the official campaign to put lipstick on a javelina.